There are many ways to stand out in law firm marketing – the “low-budget submission” is certainly one of them. Not through brilliance, but through its charming lack of structure, care and strategy. But what happens when you treat submissions like tax returns: at the last minute, without much desire and with as little involvement as possible? That’s right – nothing good.

1. “We’ll just send something.”

The law firm sends three mandates, two of them from 2017, and a partner writes a three-liner in five minutes (“We are leaders. Period.”). The legal directors, who read hundreds of such texts, are delighted with this creative approach. Unfortunately, it ends up in the “next time, please be serious” folder. Spoiler: There is no next time – at least not in the rankings.

2. “Client feedback? We have enough anyway.”

Of course! Clients flock to answer questions on the phone for hours – especially if they don’t know anything about it because no one has asked them. Who needs external validation when you can just praise yourself? Unfortunately, this is exactly what Chambers & Co. do not value very highly.

3. “Submissions are like laundry – you just have to do it somehow.”

This attitude results in texts that sound like instructions for paper clips: technically correct, but nobody understands why they should be enthusiastic. Creativity, clear messages or even a USP? Nope – they wanted to save time.

4. “The intern can do that.”

The intern does the same. On the last day of his internship. Without a briefing. Without context. Without strategic understanding. But hey – a submission has been made, and that counts, right? Spoiler: No.

5. “The main thing is to hand it in.”

A popular misconception. Submissions are not a school assignment where submission = pass. Rankings are like casting shows: Only those who convince get further. And a half-hearted PDF with text modules is about as convincing as a crookedly sung ABBA song America´s Got Talent.

Conclusion:

Anyone who expects submissions to have maximum impact with minimum effort probably also believes that you can win a Michelin star with frozen pizza. Rankings are not a game of chance – they are a reflection of consistent communication, well thought-out content and genuine quality. If you invest nothing, you shouldn’t be surprised if nothing comes back – except perhaps a polite “Thank you for your submission.”

But hey – at least it was cheap.